Will this be just another blog?

The answer to that question is "No way, Jose!" My goal is to make you laugh and hopefully you will accidently click on one of my cards and buy it (Right now, I'm holding up a pocket watch and swaying it back & forth as I'm trying to hypnotize you, "You're getting sleepy"). This is where I will chat about just anything I feel like, while promoting my goods! Hey Guys, not those goods!! Keep your pants on!

Just a few of my Goods! I think I heard one of my cards say, "Take me home!"

Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Pleeza No Squeeza!!!



This was taken at Pike Place Market in Seattle, Washington! I love when I see something funny especially when it rhymes! I have to admit, I ignored their warning to get a little squeeza!

"Most vegetables are something God invented to
let women get even with their children.
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.
Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine,
something brussels sprouts never do."
-(The Bachelor Home Companion) P.J. O'Rourke

Monday, July 6, 2009

My Diet is a Riot!

So you're probably wondering why I have pictures of two cupcakes taped to my office cabinets! I consider them as my weight loss milestones. Someone told me that she uses candles to represent her goals, I just extended that to something more yummy looking (sadly, cupcakes are my most favorite dessert)! Staring at these delectable photos may be torturous, but they visually remind me that once upon a time those used to be attached to my ass. I'm not saying I gave up on cupcakes, I just don't eat as many! I will keep you posted as my office wall fills with more cupcakes!


"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand"

-unknown
(I almost wish I thought of that quote myself)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

A little Self Control for this Sushi Roll

Last week, my coworkers and I went out for lunch at a sushi joint. As we were deciding what to eat, I turned my head and noticed the lunch specials on a chalk board and really wondered if anyone would order the 2nd item on the list, but I mean out-loud or amongst a group of friends?!? We were thinking how funny it would be if a guy ordered the Viagra Roll while on his first date or if one of the guys from work ordered it and then had to explain himself while walking around the office!

"A new viagra virus is going round the Internet. It doesn't affect your hard drive, but you can't minimize anything for hours."

-Joan Rivers

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

In Dire about this Wire!

As you can see my power adapter for my iBookG4 laptop died on me (please send your condolences with $$ to my home in Chicago). Actually, this cord was really on its way out, I was just using it in this state until it finally could give no more. It has been like this for months, but I just refused to buy a new one (because they aren’t cheap)! Sadly, I started making adjustments to my life just to keep this cord surviving. I found myself talking to it, “C’mon! Mr. Cord stay alive, don’t go yet, it’s not time!” Usually, that was said when I was scrambling to get something done and trying to save the file as quickly as possible (I should mention that I have a habit of using the battery power until it’s gone, therefore the cord is the backup, not much of one, but it is). Another example is that if I wanted to use the laptop while in bed, I had to be careful about every slight movement because the cord only worked when it was in a certain position. It’s almost like when your lovable dog or cat is sleeping on your bed and you become a contortionist just so that your pet gets more rest than you do! Now, I’m waiting for my new power adapter to arrive, since I finally gave in and so did my wallet.


"Computers must be female. No one but the creator understands their internal logic. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it."


~Author Unknown

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Is Brown Rice Nice?

Lately I've been on the craziest Fiber Kick ever! Not sure what has obsessed me to want to cleanse my system out; perhaps it's related to my exercise program and something called New Years resolutions. I read that we require 25-30 grams of fiber each day! Whoa, now that's a Sh*t load of fiber (no pun intended)! I even found a fiber calculator that tells you how much fiber a person needs to consume based on your height, age and weight. I wish there was a calculator that stated how many cupcakes I need to eat, before I pass out (I love my cupcakes, but I’ll use that as another posting one day). Recently, I sadly switched from white rice to brown rice, which is driving me crazy considering I'm Asian and steamed white rice is a staple! So in honor of the switch, I made a card that says “I love brown rice” (I have to admit I don’t love it, but you know if you repeat something enough, you start to believe it).

"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup,
only less filling"
-Dave Barry

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Era of Mascara

Have you ever gone through your makeup bag searching for that one item you need each day even though you have a thousand versions of it, like lipstick or eyeliner? I seriously have no idea why I have so many tubes of mascara. They aren’t even old ones! You would think I was a makeup artist on a movie set with all these tubes! It’s not like I have several colors either. They are all jet-black and waterproof (which I have to wear because I’m part mermaid and it’s nice to look cute for all the other “fish in the sea”). The only difference is that some are for lengthening and others are for volume. Sadly, I’ve gotten into the habit of putting on one type and then layering on another brand to make my own perfect blend! How hard is it to get voluptuous lashes (to match my already voluptuous bottom half, you know so it all balances out like a Big Mac and a diet Coke)? Stay tuned, I’ll have more makeup dilemmas on this blog!

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed
that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso"
-Rita Rudner

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Freezing my Rear in the New Year!


Here is today's temperature in NYC where I am right now:

Partly Cloudy
23°F
Feels Like
13°F
If you're wondering if I dragged my rear to Times Square last night to bring in the New Year, the answer is NO WAY!! Some people stood out there for 10 hours waiting for the ball to drop. I think I would have dropped if I stood out there that long or even for a few minutes! I had one friend send me pictures from her Polar Bear Plunge in Milwaukee, Wisconsin today. I think she's nuts, but at least she was "Freezin for a Reason," since the event supported the Special Olympics! I spent my day at the movies, had a hearty bowl of chicken tortilla soup & sipped on a yummy caramel latte. I always find a way to enjoy life's simple pleasures! Happy New Year to all!

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather,
always bring your own sunshine."


- Anthony J. D'Angelo

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

You Bite It, You Write It

I have no idea how many journals I have and I have a stack of new ones that have not even been written in yet. My grandfather loved journaling so I’m sure I got it from him. I have journals that are diaries, wish lists, one for eating, etc. I have to admit it’s easier to write about your thoughts and dreams than it is to write about what you ate for lunch or at happy hour! I could easily start a blog about my trials & tribulations on how I lost 50 lbs, but guess what? I haven’t lost 50 lbs, so there goes that blog! The reason why I jot down what I’m eating is because I noticed a slower metabolism creeping up. Writing it down helps me figure out if I’m eating too much sugar, too many carbs, too much fat or just not eating (the “not eating” part doesn’t really exist). What I like about my food journal is that it puts me in my place (sometimes). Instead of eating 5 pieces of chocolate, I’ll eat one piece. I don’t like the idea of having to write the number of pieces I’ve eaten, so I’ll just eat one (I know for some of you, it would be difficult to stop at just one). There are definitely days where I break all the rules and my journal entry for the day reads like this, “ATE TOO MUCH!” C’mon people, I’m not a Foodie Goodie Two Shoes!

In case you were wondering, the cookie in the picture is a Snickerdoodle (thanks to Milk & Cookies Bakery in NYC). This delicious treat did end up in my journal as my afternoon snack today!

For my tri-athlete and marathon friends who are reading this posting, you can all stop laughing your skinny behinds off!!
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